sneergone-deactivated20200129:

I miss @mysterykitt

merukins:

beardedmrbean:

gotta admit, I’m impressed with their dedication to the bit

gsirvitor:

infectiouspiss:

infectiouspiss:

they should invent joints that don’t hurt

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

heroofthreefaces:

inappropriateplanteater:

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

Showed the kids on my hike today how to eat the goo from honey locust seed pods but told them that without their parents present to consent, I couldn’t allow them to sample it.

“But I’ll eat it,” I said, “Because I forgot to bring lunch today and I need the calories.”

The kids collectively took this to mean that they should attempt to forage for me and feed me with the bounty of the forest, so for the rest of the hike I had children shoving nuts and berries and leaves in my face like “Eat this! Eat this!” and each time I had to be like, no, that’s inedible, no, that needs to be washed and cooked, no, I can see the mold on that, no, those contain a deadly poison that will kill my body in terrible ways if I eat it. Thank you of thinking of me but please stop trying to make me eat poison.

I would have simply eaten those offerings, a little poison never hurt anyone

Poison very much does kill people. I see what you’re getting at and you’re absolutely 100% wrong

not me though I’m built different

nudityandnerdery:

monkeysaysficus:

crabs-and-belugas:

Never going back to the Netherlands

You could not have framed that comedy better, amazing.

blog-de-segunda:

holorifle:

saying “hm. must be the curse” every time something bad happens and refusing to elaborate is my new hobby

lolapapriika:

ooo spooky scary vampire bats 💞🦇

idiot-trashpanda:

lesbitomboyish:

memewhore:

Direct action

comrade goat